For our love of Animals (an obvious thought to ponder)
It recently occurred to me that the human race as a whole love animals, I say this because of the fact that most every one of us is compelled to mention them two or three times a day during normal conversation, sometimes more often than that. for example....
Why is it when a man masturbates he's either choking his CHICKEN or more disturbingly spanking his MONKEY? what the fuck does that even mean? Why in the world would you call your girls pretty pussy a BEAVER? not from my lips....ever. why is when several women are gathered around a table or a water cooler cackling is it called a HEN fest? Why is it as a man you may possibly be hung like a HORSE? is there a reason we tell our children they live in a PIG sty? don't you think it's silly to say holy shit it's raining like CATS and DOGS? again I get raining hard or it's a torrential downpour but what the fuck does it mean raining like CATS and DOGS...
When your kids become teenagers explain to them the process of making love...telling them about the BIRDS and the BEES sounds like a disgusting type of genetic cross breeding. does that devious looking fellow staring at you in the checkout line at Walm
art need to be called a SNAKE in the grass, just call me the perv I am....wait sorry I mean The perv he is. Am I really so fucking hungry that I could eat the cunt out of a dump RAT, does that person telling on you need to be called a RAT? how about a scumbag.
Are we all guilty at some point in our life of calling a woman a CHICK
does that girl on the swim team really swim like a FISH? are you really as strong as a OX, didn't Bart Simpson always say "don't have a COW?" do we seriously need to tell a woman she has CAMEL toe? and I hate a mans reproductive equipment being called a MOOSE knuckle. I guess the great Ali really could float like a BUTTERFLY and sting like a BEE so we'll let that one be. so you really think it's hot enough in the office to breed SHEEP?
Do we really eat like PIGS? well maybe at times. is the U.S postal service still known as SNAIL mail? do you know anyone that is as sly as a FOX? hell yes does a BEAR shit in the woods, oops see what I mean. If you're afraid to do something you're a CHICKEN, are you as snug as a BUG in a rug? am I BAT shit crazy? why yes I am thank you for noticing. the little thingy you hit back and forth over the net is called a BIRD, really again disturbing...the thought of slapping a poor little BIRD around...
Although some of us do fuck like RABBITS, I pose this question to you. when you caught your wife with your friends cock in her mouth did she have that DEER in the headlight look? are you as hungry as a LION at times? does weed smell like a SKUNK? I do enjoy fucking DOGGY style but never eat my girls CLAM but rather savor her pretty pussy. If you get in trouble is your Goose cooked...Goose from the road warrior was certainly well done...
Why the fuck does it have to be a CHICKEN that crosses the street.
at times I am certainly crazy as a LOON...okay so you see where I'm going with this...yup we talk about all these animals everyday and don't even realize it, and for something completely different next week we talk about how we mention inanimate objects in the form of weird cliques...thanks for reading, and I'm still waiting for the day PIGS fly.....
~Michael~
12-4-16
